Pizza and Pictures

After we had tea at Uber Lounge (fine pizzas and they do a nice 2 for 1 menu too), Jo and I headed for the cinema to see Dig! a documentary about the bands The Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. However on reaching the cinema we discovered it was sold out. Having had a couple of Desperados with dinner I would have been happy to head back to the pub.

Jo had other ideas and we went to see a New Zealand film called In My Father’s Den. Although neither of us was holding out much hope for it, having built ourselves up for some rockumentary, we both thought it was brilliant.

It features Matthew MacFadyen of TV’s Spooks returning to his family home for the first time in 17 years following the death of his father. There he meets Celia, a young girl who may or may not be his daughter. Slowly paced it really pulls you in from the off and although I guessed the big twist about midway through I was excited when I did, (as I kept wanting to nudge Jo to tell her) rather than moaning about it being predictable. The cast were excellent, I wasn’t expecting much from MacFadyen, but he was excellent and I’ll be happy to watch whatever he does next. Emily Barclay who played Celia was brilliant too.

New Zealand always looks great on film and the look is helped by the Cinematographer being Stuart Dryburgh who was also the Cinematographer on The Piano.

It’s well worth going to see.

Dig! comes out officially tomorrow, so I’m sure we’ll get to see that next week anyway.

A Touch of the Goons?

We've made the news. Yes, Sabotage is kicking off on Radio Scotland this Saturday. You may wonder what the description of the show is all about. So did we. I know Stuart is now an avid 'Pish reader. Any suggestions as to where it came from?

Anyway, it's on Radio Scotland on Saturday. We'll probably miss it cos we're recording audio sketches for the new Glue show this Saturday, but why don't you listen in and post what you thought about it here on Monday?

I Don't Wanna Hear It...

A mealy mouthed apology has been issued by Nike about the whole Minor Threat fiasco.

It cuts no ice with me. My problem here is that the shills issuing the apology seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that they are people, like us.

"We just love to skateboard, man."

Well yeah, maybe once. But you sold yourself and your passion for boarding to a big corporation who hurt kids. So you're nothing. Get that through your thick skulls.

As a light hearted postscript, here's a few other album covers ruined by marketing.

Is it all About the Monkey Bars?

I’ve lapsed into a blogging lull, though you have had Fizz’s anti-Nike rant to keep you entertained for a few days.

I was going to write a bit about killing at Blackfriars last Saturday night, about going to see Uter support Wolf Eyes the following Sunday, about Jennifer’s play or about Jo and I finishing second in Air Organic’s pub quiz later that same evening. I was going to write about how the new Glue show is coming along, about losing an actor on the eve of rehearsals, about rehearsals being a never ending round of changed venues and late arrivals, about how we’re re-learning the old show and how the new material is going down. I was going to write about Batman Begins and how it’s one of the best films this year, about the new Seinfeld box set DVD even morosely about the death of Countdown’s Richard Whiteley or how the voices of Tigger and Piglet have died within days of one another.

However I think I’ll simply content myself with this, a review of Jerry Seinfeld live in Washington. Nice to read some of his latest routine, but can people attempt to review Seinfeld without referring back to episodes of the TV series?

I do have some photographs of stuff that I’ll post when I get round to it.

Guilty, Of Being Nike

Stop reading if you’ve just eaten.

Here’s a cracking example of a major corporation trying to appropriate a genuine cultural artefact in order to “move more product”.

Nike, who most of us know are heavily involved in the exploitation and oppression of sweat shop labourers and child labourers, have used the cover art and logo of the band Minor Threat to advertise some crappy skateboarding event (I did have a link to the flyer here, but it has been removed amid all the controversy). In doing so they have failed to seek permission from the band, the bands record label Discord, the photographer who created the original image and the designer of the original logo.

This is know in the trade as “Guerrilla Marketing”, wherein large companies attempt to appeal to “counter-culture demographics” (i.e rich kids who like skateboarding and Hip Hop and get plenty of pocket money from Mommy) by appropriating counter-culture images, values and publicity tactics (for example flyering).

I’m sure whoever came up with that idea and the idea for this particular outrage is patting him or herself on the back and counting the cash. How must it feel to be part of manufacturing corporate cool? Pretty good I suppose, until the long dark nights when you wake with a start; vague, haunting dreams of what you could have done and could have been clinging threadbare to the remnants of your bar-coded brain.

I know you feel something inside when you fuck up, when you hurt someone or when you make a dumb mistake that costs you. I wonder what you feel when your last shred of dignity, your last vestiges of value as a human being disappear? I wonder how it feels to sell yourself to child oppressors like Nike for a bit of money.

Meanwhile, the irony of kids in this hemisphere being duped into thinking it’s “cool” to buy Nike trainers made by exhausted, destitute children from the other hemisphere becomes just another example of the sad, absurd and evil world we live in.

If you buy or wear Nike or any major fashion brand you align yourself with exploiters and oppressors. You hate third world kids, or might as well. It’s that simple.

Apathy is just not good enough anymore. The enemy is fully mobilised, as I’m sure Jesus, Jello Biafra and the Ghost of Joe Strummer will tell you in their next run of Adidas advertisements.

Glue 2: This Time It's Personal

Go have a look at Fizzy's post on the Glue blogspot.

Finding Deep Throat

No posts for a few days, but I thought that this was worth mentioning. It's been discovered that Mark Felt, now unmasked as Deep Throat actually led two FBI inquiries into finding Deep Throat. This is an article on how he threw them off the scent.

Happy Birthday Fizz

It’s Fizzy’s birthday again. He’s 36 this time. See last year’s post cos I’d only be repeating myself otherwise.

Though I have found out some things I didn't know last year. Fizz shares his birthday with two of his heroes. Robert Maxwell and Ronnie James Dio.

Chappelle in Meetings

Dave Chappelle has met with his Comedy Central bosses, although there’s no news of what was discussed.

And here's Mike Epps, who is set to play Richard Pryor in a movie, on Chappelle and his disgust that he's not a crackhead.

"There's a Lot of Junk up There"

Here's an interesting article about why the Solar System and the Moon in particular is littered with space rubbish.

Woo-Hoo Simpsons Movie Confirmed

Work has started on The Simpsons movie.

"Act Now if You Don't Want to Turn Into Kansas"

Here's Morgan Spurlock on why he hasn't set foot inside a McDonald's since Super Size Me and why Britain is turning into Kansas.

I know at this point, Nicola, you're turning your nose up, but wait until you get to the part when he says that getting rid of fizzy drinks is the smartest thing you can do.

Bada Bing

If you love those wacky gangsters, then The Mafia Boss game will keep you amused for hours. My tip would be make sure you build a strong defence, several thousands guys are needed for you to be in the running for total dominance.

Fizzy's First

Have a look at Fizz's first review for Diskant. It can't get much better for him than this.

Anne Bancroft

Star of The Graduate Anne Bancroft has died.

Apocalypse

I saw The League of Gentlemen’s Apocalypse last night. I’m a big fan of them, but the film wasn’t as good as it could have been. If you don’t know the basic plot, the characters from Royston Vasey come to life when they discover that the LoG are about to kill them off.

It’s like 3 ideas in one film, they never seem able to settle on what way to go, as a plot set in 1690 also takes up a large chunk of screen time. There are certainly a few laughs, and although they did avoid the trap of other TV shows into movies (which they cheekily reference) it just wasn’t as good as it should have been. It seems more like a companion piece to the TV series when it should have been a stand alone movie. Still I’m sure they’ll be back with another soon.

Just a Good Ole Boy

Do you love the Dukes of Hazzard? Do you like sitting on your fat ass all day? Then this could just have been the job for you.

It’s the Treble…

With the football season drawing to a close all over Europe, I suppose it’s time to break my self imposed blog exile to crow about how I’ve won all three fantasy leagues I entered this year, much to the chagrin of several readers and at least one writer of this very blog.

With the Herald League at work, the greatest satisfaction came from whipping the ass of the call centre supervisor, who had been bumming about his great team for months while he was on top. He’s less willing to discuss his football expertise now.

As for the Iomartership, misnamed really as Tom and I failed to persuade any of our colleagues to enter, It could be reasonably argued that I bought the title Chelsea style, spending up big on extra transfers after a bad start. This is only partially true as a great many of those extra transfers occurred after a text related cock up on the part of the league administrators, who then refused to refund my money. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t have won had I not had the luxury of the extra transfers in the last few months.

So that leaves the Champions League, an oddly subdued affair considering the prize, wherein a 4 goal salvo early in the competition by horse faced pick Ruud Van Nistelrooy got me off to an early flyer which no-one ever overhauled, despite my failure to tip even one correct result in the latter stages.

So, added to my European Championships double last summer, that makes it five fantasy league titles in a row for me, the most brilliantist fantasy league guy around.

How does it feel to be the no respect, no cash, no prospects no hope version of Jose Mourinho? As you might imagine. Meh.

He Still Ain't Dead Yet, Mother******

Here is a feature on Richard Pryor and his wife Jennifer. It doesn't make for easy reading.

I bought his autobiography and the new DVD Live and Smokin' recently, though I haven't picked up either since I purchased them.

The Weekly Actor Arrest

Russell Crowe is now the latest actor to get himself arrested.

The Weekend Condensed

My weekend was made up of Bar Bloc, China Seas, Bar Bloc again, Mono, The Press Bar, Walkabout, Scotland vs. Moldova, Star Wars Episode Three and Sin City.

Of the pubs visited Walkabout was awful. Never go there. Ever.

Scotland vs. Moldova was a dull match really, always the better team for some reason we kept allowing Moldova to get back into the game. I did enjoy the attempts to get the fans roused though, with Runrig’s Donnie Munro coming out to lip sync to an odd version of Flower of Scotland that had a daft drum beat behind it. They then played Billy Connolly routines and chunks of Braveheart that was still going after the game had kicked off. They may have started doing this ages ago, but I don’t mind of it from the last Scotland game I went to.

Nice that it was almost a full house, it only really got going as an atmosphere after the second goal, but then there were only about 3 minutes left.

Revenge of the Sith gets 3 stars from me. It was quite good. Where Attack of the Clones was a rollercoaster of really good and really rubbish, this maintained a level of quite good all the way through. I wanted more Darth Vader, but yeah it was all right. Though at the end of this franchise what you’re left with is two masterpieces (Star Wars & The Empire Strikes Back) one quite good film (Revenge of the Sith) two all right films (Return of the Jedi and Attack of the Clones) and one rubbish film (The Phantom Menace).

The Star Wars films have become kind of like Microsoft it’s like ‘here’s the latest upgrade.’ The three new films only improved upon the first three in terms of special effects or in what new stunts could be performed. They couldn’t match them in terms of engaging characters or thrilling storytelling.

Sin City grabs 4 Tom stars. This is the nearest there’s been to a comic book on the big screen. I knew my early acting idol, Mickey Rourke still had it. He’s awesome, while looking like a mutant Kirk Douglas. When I saw him in that Enrique Inglesias video a few years ago I knew he’d be back.

Bruce Willis turns in his usual dependable performance, Clive Owen makes up for Closer (yeah he got an Oscar nomination, but really he was nauseating in that), Benicio Del Toro is menacing, Brittany Murphy, Rosario Dawson and Jessica Alba are all sexy and dangerous just like they’re meant to be.

I also spent some time over the weekend attempting to put the new You Owe Me Glue script into some sort of shape. But more about that later.

Chappelle's Back!

Dave Chappelle turned up unannounced at two comedy clubs in Hollywood on Wednesday night and performed a couple of sets.

Just to Finish Off

Awright, so some links and some boring stuff to finish a blog intensive week. I had Cabbage and Sausage soup for lunch. “Cabbage and Sausage soup!” I declared incredulously at first, and after decalaring “Aye it doesn’t taste like poison I’ll have it,” it turned out to be quite nice. Red cabbage and spicy sausage as it turned out.

Here are some film directors including Tarantino, Lumet, Loach and Mann listing their Top 10 Films.

Here, again courtesy of Alasdair are 60 or so ‘simple games.’

An interview with Sin City star Benicio Del Toro.

I’ve been listening to Rilo Kiley a lot recently and at this site there are loads of live bootlegs that are worth a download.

The World's Best Character Actor

An article from Time Magazine on the excellent Paul Giamatti. That moment outside the wedding chapel in Sideways, when his ex-wife appears, is by far and away my favourite movie moment of the year so far.

The Friday Discussion

Every Friday at work it seems that Alasdair and Landry have some sort of bizarre discussion that lasts an hour or more. Two weeks ago the debate concerned Landy’s belief that women ‘should not drink in excess.’ Last week he declared that ‘Hair is unhealthy and spreads disease.’ Alasdair attempts to turn him round on each point with his own brand of debating.

Landry: “Hair is not good for you. It spreads disease.”
Me: (Stirring it up) “What about Jesus? He had long hair.”
Landry: “And did Jesus not get ill?”
Alasdair: “He came back from the dead! You can’t get much more well than that.”

This week, the topics they’ve touched on include Law and Order, Immigration, Religious Clothing and inevitably Big Brother. I’m waiting for them to hit upon something juicy.

Telling All Y'all it's a Sab-o-tage

So the second night of Sabotage, recorded at Gilmorehill. How many, if any, of our sketches will they use? I don’t think we drank much more of the free booze, we just seemed to be drunker. It also made us need the toilet much more and myself and Fizz pretty much sat in pain throughout the recording of the first show, pushing past people in order to go relieve ourselves when it was finished.

And did they use any of our stuff? Well, yes. Not as much as we were led to believe, but over the course of the three shows I think there were 8 of our sketches in. They had however changed a couple of them, but ho-hum. Fizz missed what was probably the best of the bunch, the Official Exorcist sketch, since along with Jo and Jill he had decided to spend most of episode 5 outside the building smoking. We laughed at our stuff as much or as little as we did anyone else’s. So there ya go, our first professional writing credit for which “the cheque is in the post.”

No celebrities this time second rate or otherwise.

The show airs in July at, I think, 12.05pm on Saturdays. The pre-football slot, though since it’s the close season I dunno what it will now be the precursor to exactly.

At the bus stop on the way home I endured an 84 year old man (I know cos he told me) singing a song he had written himself about Scotland. He then explained the decline of the education system over the last 50 years. It’s funny when you think these guys are telling you something that might be worth knowing but you can’t help feel they’re simply an irritant.

Zoomquilt

Alasdair passed me this. It’s a tunnel painting, just click and drag your mouse to go all the way through it, forwards or backwards. It’s on a loop, so it’s a nice idea for a moment, but you’ll quickly become bored by it.

"Secrecy at All Costs"

Here is Bob Woodward's story of how he came to know Mark Felt.

And transcripts of Nixon's tapes show that he suspected Felt all along.

Just Wondering

OK A couple of things, can anyone explain what the point is of tellers in petrol stations asking if you have ‘any fuel?’ Do they think they’re catching folk out with this? ‘Well I was going to nick it, but now you’ve asked, I’ll own up. I wouldn’t want to be a liar on top of a thief. Cos that would be Double Jeopardy.’

I was recently asked this question twice, the second time after my ‘no’ response obviously wasn’t clear enough for the guy. I almost pointed out to him that he had asked me two needless questions when zero needless questions was the requisite amount. Though I felt I couldn’t do this without at some point changing my tone, so I decided against it.

And why do Subway feel the need to ask you 7 different questions when all you want is a sandwich. Mitch Hedberg: “What kind of bread? Banana. Any cheese? Yeah cottage.”

Which leads me to…I find it weird that I’m worrying slightly about my favourite comic and cynic Doug Stanhope. He posted this on his website yesterday.

“I keep having dreams about Hedberg. I keep trying to write his parents but I dont know what to say. I'd like to eat mushrooms with them so they could see things the way he saw them. Then they might understand a bit. But I dont think that is going to happen.”

With guys on the edge like Stanhope you never know where they’re going to turn next.

Have you seen the tragic yet hilarious story of ex-East 17 man Brian Harvey? Ran over by his own car, which he was driving at the time. Some say it’s a suicide attempt and others a tragic accident. I think I go with the accident theory, cos like his manager says, who could have planned that? Alasdair suggested that if it was a suicide attempt perhaps Goths would change their music and dress of choice to East 17 and their ilk.

The suicide talk brought up Kurt Cobain. However I think Cobain would have killed himself no matter if he was an international rock star or a gas station attendant. Harvey’s depression seems to stem from the ‘I had it all and now I’ve lost it and what the fuck do I do now?’ camp.

"I Had no Idea it was Coming"

Here’s a story about the chain of events that saw Tuesday’s reveal of Deep Throat fall into place.

And here's some other articles on reactions to the revelation.

Deep Throat: Straight Shooter or Back Stabber? complete with a 1958 picture of Felt going for his guns.

Here’s the suggestion that his motives were to protect the FBI.

Not surprisingly Nixon’s Buddies condemn Felt as ‘a traitor.’

Is anyone listening to G. Gordon Liddy? A dangerous yet entertaining nutcase in his day. And as someone who spent several years in prison for his role in Watergate is it any surprise that he's less than thrilled with Felt?

And finally, what Bill Clinton thinks.

It's a Mirage

Last night was our first night in professional writing. We went along to the recording of the first three episodes of Radio Scotland’s forthcoming sketch show ‘Sabotage’ of which we were assured included ‘loads’ of our sketches.

Beforehand we quaffed free drink and rubbed shoulders with the likes of Kevin McDermott and Sanjeev Kohli, who’s best known for playing Navid in Still Game. So star studded already, we didn’t need Scotland’s finest comedy sketch troupe showing up! Fizzy had to be held back from asking for their autographs…or was it from spitting on the main guy’s jacket?

As we found our seats at the back of course, we were treated to a warm up comic. Anyone who is familiar with my story about the Govan Comedy Festival should have heard the name Frances Healy. Oddly enough yet again she was faced with numerous children in the audience and did she change her routine about c***s and labias? No way!

We settled back to watch the recording with an odd feeling of apprehension. Having done You Owe Me Glue and been in total control over every aspect of the script and performance it was odd waiting to hear our stuff being read and not knowing how it would be done. Tone, accents, timing, emphasis etc. well, we shouldn’t have worried.

After half an hour or so the first episode was in the can and a total of zero of our sketches had been used. So into episode two and again not one of our sketches. During the break I failed to recognise one of the other writers when she came over to speak to us and I just stared at her blankly.

After the break we move onto the recording of episode three and yes…it’s one of ours…no, it’s just a line of ours they’ve used for another sketch. The evening wraps with not a single one of our sketches used.

As for the show itself we didn’t just listen out for our own stuff there were a few of the sketches we laughed at.

So tonight we go along once more, to sit in the dark and hope that this time a whole bagful of our stuff is being used. I think this time we may tan more of the free booze beforehand though.

Only Inches Away From the Motorway...

With the CD Exchange in full swing here at work I thought I would post this genius review by Alasdair of Lindsay's CD. He has compared each track to Glasgow, though I'm not sure why.

The Sleepy Jackson – Good Dancers

Kelvingrove Park on a summer’s day, when it’s busy but you’re not sitting near any Goths, yobs or irritating skaters. I can hear the river, the breeze in the trees and people having lazy fun. 9/10

The Velvet Underground – Stephanie Says

Byres Road, probably near the Dumbarton Road end where there are a few herbalist shops, cheap barbers, record shops and a political t-shirt store. 9/10

The Jesus and Mary Chain – Sometimes Always

In front of the two lions on George Square, after getting off the bus after a day trip to Edinburgh. 8/10

Mazzy Star – Fade Into You

Taking the 44 bus from the city centre to Jordanhill as the sun sets and getting off outside Victoria Park. 8/10

Ryan Adams – To Be Young

Getting drunk on organic wheat beer at Mono. 10/10

Elliot Smith – Needle in the Hay

Trying to find what you’re looking for but getting distracted in the Mitchell Library. 7/10

My Morning Jacket – Lowdown

The glasshouses at Queen’s Park where they have some beautiful gold fish (perhaps koi carps) in an ornamental pond. 7/10

Neko Case – Deep Red Bells

The now derelict arts centre at Anderson that was home to many drama, music and art classes but was only inches away from the motorway and where the bodies of dead prostitutes were discovered.7/10

Lampchop – This Corrosion

The RSAMD building, although filled with creative and spirited individuals the building itself is strangely oppressive in its design. 8/10

Nick Cave - Do You Love Me

Walking along the Gallowgate, past the drunks and the Barralands, in an electrical storm. 7/10

The Kills – Cat Claw

Getting into a fight on Sauchihall Street and getting laid shortly afterwards. 9/10

Interpol – PDA

Getting chatted up after a great gig at the Barralands and heading off to a really crap party believing that it is the best night of your life so far. 10/10

The Cure – The Lovecats

Exploring Mr Ben’s and all the other odd ball stores in Virginia Galleries before M and S renders the building unsafe. 7/10