Monday 31 July 2006

Tommy's Party

Like most people I relish a trip to Paisley. So it was there I headed for Tommy's housewarming party on Saturday night. An excellent evening was had by all. The drink went down well and the minor vegan snacks seemed to be a sucess. I especially liked the crisps and humus team up.

The star of the evening was of course Mr. Grant Cadger with his tales of his Gang Show sell-out performance at the King's, his kidnap ordeal, his President's Badge and his one-off mishap at the polling booth.

There are several photographs below.

More photographs on Ronnie’s Flickr site and even more on Tommy's site. Any queries about Tommy's hair can be directed to him.


















Thursday 27 July 2006

Thus Ate Zarathustra

This is a recent article in the New Yorker by Woody Allen. It centres around “Friedrich Nietzsche’s Diet Book”.

Fat itself is a substance or essence of a substance or mode of that essence. The big problem sets in when it accumulates on your hips. Among the pre-Socratics, it was Zeno who held that weight was an illusion and that no matter how much a man ate he would always be only half as fat as the man who never does push-ups.

I’m the Bishop of This Train

I can’t embed this bit of video, but go and click on the link anyway. This is Marty Feldman as the Bishop of No Fixed Abode. He’s got all the Bishop clobber and everything.

Wednesday 26 July 2006

Law and Order Muppets

This feature on Gothamist describes a new segment on Sesame Street as it goes all Law and Order.

Bus Rage

We’re no fans of First Bus or Strathclyde Passenger Transport here at Pish. I decided against posting the tale of my row with a driver last Monday morning. I’ve always thought they should provide a special bus that disgruntled passengers could smash up to quell their building rage.

However some people seem to have come up with their own way of venting their frustration.

Caught by the Fuzz

Here’s a ‘you shouldn’t laugh’ but you can’t help it story from Manda Rin and Data Panik.

Nerd Rage

Our friends over at Dead Frog have got a good interview with comedian and nerd Brian Posehn.

Can the Laughter

Ken Levine has a good bit about laugh tracks on sitcoms.

Heat Vision and Jack

You don't really need a reason to post this do you? If you haven't seen this before, do yourself a favour.

More Cowbell

If you've got a disease and the only cure is more cowbell, Will Ferrel and QOTSA may be able to help you out.

Monday 24 July 2006

Comedy Links

This is an interview with Jason Alexander. Seinfeld quotes and in-jokes are littered throughout. At the end there are many comments, some of whom who mention his gala. And this is a review of his gala at Montreal.

This is a review of Demetri Martin. Demetri is becoming known in North America for his Trendspotting segments on The Daily Show.

"Cottonballs: Something I'd be willing to buy but not something I would want as a nickname."

Links via.

Sunday 23 July 2006

50 Films...

Did anyone catch Channel Four's 50 Films to See Before You Die?

The show was designed to tell you about great films not everyone will have seen, Fanny and Alexander, Black Narcissus, Heavenly Creatures, Come and See, Trainspotting and Scarface to name but a few.

Great. However each feature seemed to give away the ending of the respective film. This is supposed to be a programme that points you in the direction of great films you've not thought about seeing yet. (And they're all coming up on the now free to air Film Four). It ended up being a show that told the viewer 'I know more than you. I've seen a film you haven't. I know how it ends'. A great idea for a programme and they interviewed a lot of the main players, but more than likely spoiled the majority of the 50 films for its viewers.

When I first saw Scream I saw it on video. I watched it with my then flatmate who said, at a certain point, in a childish voice "I know who the killer is". That point was when the eventual killer made his first on screen appearance. You think I didn't work out who done it?

Saturday 22 July 2006

Stop the War Rally

I went along to the Stop the War Rally at George Square today. A well attended march it made its way from George Square along St Vincent Street, down Union Street onto Argyle Street and into St Enoch Square. I enjoy taking any opportunity to walk along car-free roads in Glasgow.

There was a five minute sit down protest at the bottom of Union Street.

There was then a rally with a number of speakers including Jim McTaggart from CND and Rose Gentile, who you may have seen at many anti-war protests and in a BBC documentary, after her son was killed in Iraq. I was of course stuck beside a bam who kept shouting, "Aye. Stop aw wars. Stop boming in Ireland tae".

On the whole it was a well organised and informative march and rally.

However I can never get 100% behind these guys. Their next course of action is trying to prevent the Israeli cricket team from playing Jersey in Glasgow next week. Though they seemed unsure why they were playing here in the first place. The reason Israel is playing Jersey at cricket in Glasgow is because the European 2nd Division Championships are being held here. Israel have been grouped with Jersey, Norway and France in Group 1. So I guess they'll be trying to disrupt all three matches.

Rally organiser and final speaker, Keir McKechnie compared the Israelis visit to the South African rugby side coming to Scotland at the height of apatheid in the 1970s. And stated that Murrayfield was ripped up by protesters. I can't see how attacking a cricket ground in Pollok serves any purpose.

South African rugby had a positive discrimination policy. The Israeli cricket team aren't coming here in defiance of anything. Nor are the cricket grounds of Scotland doing anything morally or legally wrong by allowing them to play here.

It reminds me of Doug Stanhope's bit on PETA and how people can turn you against something you should be for by being so 'tits gone' with the whole thing.

Israel isn't, as yet, an apartheid state and the sanctions that were once applied to South Africa haven't been established against Israel.

I puzzle to see what it has to do with a team of cricketers. This smacks of not being able to kick in the Big Bully, but jumping his wee brother's pal on his way home from school.













Friday 21 July 2006

Mirman Article

This is an article on Eugene Mirman and his Invite Them Up show.

Gourmet Grub on a Budget

Here’s an article from yesterday’s Independent. A few of us at work have found ourselves trying to make the monthly wage stretch further by shopping in Lidl and Aldi.

To my surprise I’ve found the standard of food at Lidl surprisingly high. There’s barely been a food item I’ve bought out of there that hasn’t been delicious. There are of course, some things to avoid but on the whole it’s good stuff.

When I eventually get a job that pays a living wage I’ll still go into Lidl for groceries.

Thursday 20 July 2006

State of the Game

Fraser and I will shortly be contributing football articles to State of the Game a footie blog. Fraser’s first column should be appearing tomorrow. This should please some of our female readers who will now be safe in the knowledge that we’ve found another outlet for most of our football talk.

Opening Soon - Coffee Shop

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this, but this carpet shop on Great Western Road appears to have been closing down for several years. I think it was about three years ago I first noticed this sign, though I could be wrong.

Does anyone know how long it’s been closing down for or when this coffee shop is due to open? Answers in the comments section please.



Polaris

Both The New Pornographers and The Wolf Parade have been nominated for the Polaris Music Prize, Canada’s answer to the Mercury Prize. The winner will be announced on September 18 in Toronoto.

Trailer Park Boys: The Big Dirty

The Trailer Park Boys movie - Trailer Park Boys: The Big Dirty is due for release in the US on October the 6th. Here’s the trailer and below that is a clip from the show.





Demetri Feature

The National Post in Canada describes Demetri Martin as like a Far Side comic translated into stand-up. It’s not a bad analogy but Demetri is much more accessible.

"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'Huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'This is nice!'"

Wednesday 19 July 2006

My Name is Earl Comic

There is soon to be a My Name is Earl comic book.

Cocaine Cowboys

This is an article on how the new Miami Vice film reminds cops in Miami of the city’s ‘cocaine cowboy’ past.

Only Fools Museum

An Only Fools and Horses Museum is about to open. It features a recreation of the Trotters' flat and their three wheeler van.

Yewknee Summer Mix

If you haven’t already you should check out Yewknee’s Summer Mix. Each summer Yewknee invites people to submit their own summer themed mixes. There is now a large number of eclectic compilations on the site for download.

Have a look. I’m sure you’ll see something you like.

I am however disappointed that Ronnie and Tommy over at This Place is Dead haven’t submitted a mix as yet. Get it sorted guys.

How to Make Big Money the Easy Way as a Glasgow Sports Journalist

The Evening Times featured one of the sloppiest pieces of journalism I’ve ever read last night. The story headlined Celtic’s Double Signing Swoop was also previewed on a front page banner.

When you start to read the story though, two things immediately strike you. The first thing is that there has been no ‘swoop’, (a nonsense journalist phrase anyway) second of all there have been no signings. So ‘double signing swoop’ is a complete fabrication.

The story could have read: ‘Celtic are looking to sign a left back and a centre forward by the end of the week’. Which isn’t even news in itself, at best merely informed speculation.

So let’s just dissect this well paid journalist, Ronnie Cully’s easy money article.

Paragraph One:

CELTIC are closing in on at least two new signings. If all goes to plan, they should be on board by the weekend.


So far so good. A bit of speculation and a promise of a news story to come.

Paragraph Two:

The hunt for a natural left-back and a heavy-hitting striker has been stepped up.


So he’s added a bit of information to the last bit. Fine.

Paragraph Three:

And the target is to have them waiting to join Gordon Strachan and his squad when they return from the United States at the end of the week.


Well, you’ve already told us that the plan is to sign them by the weekend. Four sentences in and you’ve already repeated yourself.

Paragraph Four:

That would leave the friendly games against Everton on Sunday and Manchester United a week tomorrow to help bed in the new Bhoys before Celtic kick off the defence of their SPL title against Kilmarnock on July 29.


Ronnie’s looked at the fixture list and highlighted Celtic’s next three games. He's also found time to stick in one of the most overused puns in sports journalism 'new Bhoys'. A play on Celtic's nickname. Then we're reminded that they won the league last season. This adds nothing to his ‘news’ story and tells no Celtic fan anything they didn’t already know.

Paragraph Five:

Strachan was frustrated in his attempts to sign Michal Kadlec from Sparta Prague and free agent Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.


We know this. Celtic failed to sign these players a week or two ago.

Paragraph Six:

The Parkhead club would not meet Sparta's £2m valuation of 21-year-old Kadlec, Strachan's first choice for the full-back berth. And they could not compete with the wages Hasselbaink can earn in the Premiership.


Again, aye we know. You’ve now padded out your article with a bit of information about one of the two players and stuck in a bit of sports journalese ‘full-back berth’.

Paragraph Seven:

Bids to land alternative targets have been made, and responses awaited. Strachan has already brought in five new faces since the end of last season, paying an estimated £2.5million for Jiri Jarosik, Evander Sno and Derek Riordan while securing Kenny Miller and Gary Caldwell on Bosmans.


Of that first sentence, if you know who these ‘targets’ are why aren’t you telling us? If Celtic are still waiting on the clubs to come back to them, what’s the hold up? In the next sentence all Ronnie does is list all the new signings Celtic have made so far. There’s not a Celtic fan who isn’t aware of any of this.

Paragraph Eight:

But, the manager knew before the pre-season games that he needed two or three more first-team-ready players - one each for defence, central midfield and up front - if they are to be able to compete domestically and in the Champions League.


Ooooh, there’s a but. There’s something juicy coming now. Alas no. All we’re being told now is that Celtic manager Gordon Strachan wants to make more signings. Though there’s nothing concrete in here to suggest that. We’re also reminded that Celtic will be playing in the Champions’ League.

Paragraph Nine:

The performances in the four games they have so far played in Poland and America have underlined this.


Celtic have been pish in their recent friendlies.

Paragraph Ten:

Added to the urgency, Bobo Balde is out for another four or five weeks while he recovers from stomach surgery, Neil Lennon is banned for the opening match of the season, and Miller is almost certain also to miss out after receiving a red card against DC United for serious foul play.


No news for us here, just an injury and a suspension that was already common knowledge. But what have we here, Kenny Miller is ‘almost certain’ to miss the opening league game. That would be news had Cully not made it up.

Cully asserted that Miller would be suspended in his report of the DC United match. He gave no support or reasoning then and he gives none now.

The Scotsman reported the same day that Miller would be unlikely to be suspended.

The Scotsman had the good sense to quote an SFA spokesperson to back up their report.

An SFA spokesperson said: "There have been instances in the past when, for example, a player from an English club has been sent off in Scotland and we forward a report to England and the player can be punished by their FA.

"However, it is unusual for anything to come in from foreign countries for pre-season games, so it seems unlikely the matter will go any further."


But back to our article.

Paragraph Eleven:

Strachan wants strong characters with powerful personalities to replace the presence the likes of Roy Keane, Chris Sutton and John Hartson brought to the dressing room and carried with them on to the pitch.


Hey folks, mind the players who left Celtic in the last few months? Mind of them?

Paragraph Twelve:

Diego Tristan has been linked with a move to the club from Deportivo La Coruna, and he certainly fits the bill as the kind of imposing striker Strachan wants.


Now he’s citing some recent speculation, which is not relevant in the context of a news story.

Paragraph Thirteen:

However, the club's wage ceiling and shortage of transfer funds means that more than one player for each position has had to be identified, with the final choice down to the manager if terms can be agreed.


No news here, but we’re reminded that Celtic are skint and can’t always have their first choice of player. Of the players they can afford to sign Gordon Strachan can have his pick.

Paragraph Fourteen:

His options would increase if cash is brought in from the sale of players, and Stilian Petrov remains the prime candidate to leave.


Every football fan knows if you sell your players you should have money with which to buy new ones. Ronnie reminds us that Stilian Petrov wants to leave Celtic.

Paragraph Fifteen:

The want-away Bulgarian missed Friday's game against Chivas in New York with a groin strain, and limped away from training again yesterday, putting him in doubt for tomorrow's final game of the tour against New England Revolution.


He reaffirms Petrov’s desire to play elsewhere and mentions he’s injured. Which has been reported already in the Evening Times and elsewhere.

The Final Paragraph:

Shaun Maloney is already out with a groin strain, and the game could come too soon for Stan Varga and Mo Camara, though both are back in full training after recovering from a virus.


We’ve now completely forgotten what this article was about in the first place, that was a ‘double signing swoop’ that Celtic were ‘in’. This is simply an update on injured players.

The reason the Evening Times can get away with this piece of nonsense is because Old Firm stories sell papers. Or so it would seem, but with fans forums on the internet, teletext and radio all throughout the day, don’t Old Firm fans know the latest bit of Rangers or Celtic tittle tattle? Or do they need something like this to get them going?

You have to wonder why Ronnie Cully got into journalism in the first place. I’m sure it wasn’t to cobble together 16 short paragraphs from a bit of speculation and several old news stories.

What I’d like to see is the Evening Times revaluate their sports coverage. Try having journalists actually do some work for a change and earn their money. Put news ahead of rumour.

The proof however, that pish like this sells newspapers and gets fans all excited is here on the Celtic fans forum on the BBC. They go on for four pages about who the two signings could be. Well lads, if you work it out give Ronnie Cully a call over at the Evening Times. He’ll probably take the best two answers and construct a news story round them for tonight’s teatime edition.

Tuesday 18 July 2006

Montreal’s Funnies

This is a selection of the best ever jokes from the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival as chosen by The Montreal Gazette.

(On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend. -Rich Jeni, 1999

Your potential? Leave it alone. It's like your bank balance: You always have less than you think.- Dylan Moran, 2005

Beating the ‘Seinfeld Curse’

Here’s an article on the Seinfeld Curse. That is the struggle the cast had to have another hit series after Seinfeld finished. It mainly focuses on the cast of the recently ended Will & Grace.

Kitten with Two Faces

This was also on Boing Boing. The original news article is littered with adverts, so I’ve just cut and pasted it here.

Kitten Born With 2 Faces

A kitten has been born with two faces and veterinarians don't understand why.

The kitten was born Wednesday morning in Ohio. It has two mouths that meow in unison, two noses and four eyes that have not opened yet.

The little boy who owns the cat said he hasn't decided on a name for the kitten yet, but said he wants to name it Tiger.

Two other kittens were in the same litter, but they are normal.

Veterinarians say this occurrence is very rare, but the kitten could be just fine. It has already begun nursing just like the other kittens in the litter.

www.nbc10.com

You Tube Sued

Since we've started putting You Tube videos on here I thought I'd post this. It's a story on Boing Boing focusing on a legal battle for You Tube.

Monday 17 July 2006

Chappelle a Quitter?

More Dave Chappelle. This is an article from the Hollywood Reporter that calls Dave Chappelle a quitter. There’s a good rebuke to it on Dead Frog.

The Sketch that Made Chappelle Quit

This is a link to the sketch that reportedly made Dave Chappelle decide to quit Chappelle's Show.

Sunday 16 July 2006

Kelvingrove

As I'm sure everyone knows Kelvingrove Art Galleries re-opened on Tuesday. I went along yesterday. I didn't spend as long there as I would have liked, due to having to hang about my flat waiting on the landlady, but anyway here's what I saw.

There's a new layout, though I remember some of the paintings from their familair location, such as Carlo Dolci's Salome with the Head of Saint John the Baptist and the selection of French landscapes, such as those by Alfred Sisley and Eugene Boudin.

There is a colourful French Art section and I went straight to Vetheuil by Claude Monet, a painting I recall from my previous visits. Landscape with Willow Trees by Maximilien Luce is another painting I remember.

There are lots of additions to the museum though, for example there are several interactive displays. Monsieur Dufy's Day is one such display, telling the story of Raoul Dufy.

There was a big crowd around Christ of Saint John of the Cross. There's some excitement about the painting being back on display at Kelvingrove for the first time since 1993. It has though been hanging in St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art, just 5 minutes' walk from the city centre. So if you were really that excited about seeing it, it was only a bus journey from Kelvingrove away.

There are also several local displays such as Glasgow Stories and Scotland's First People, a look at Scotland's ancestors. There's also a new Charles Rennie Mackintosh display, but I didn't have the time to do it justice.

Here's a preview of the opening from last week's Observer. This is a piece from Friday's Herald.

Below are some photographs from my visit. Ronnie also has some photos on his Flickr site.














Saturday 15 July 2006

Demetri Martin Videos

Here's some Demetri Martin to put a smile on your face. We start with a little bit during the comedy festival in Melbourne. Then one of his Trendspotting segments on The Daily Show. This one is on MySpace. Finally a little bit from his excellent Comedy Central Special.

He crams so many laughs into such a short time.


Melbourne 2006




Trendspotting - MySpace




Comedy Central

Farewell to Landry

Our work colleague Landry left on Friday in order to become a full-time student. We wish him well. The workplace won't be the same without his special brand of debate and his unusal way of looking at the world. Graeme will have to find someone else to spar with too.

Below is a selection of photographs from his night out. Landry has put a few on his Flickr site too. Out of all the pics taken last night this utterly insane one is my favourite.